Reminders to myself for the start of 2010

My beloved karate school asked me to write a short piece for their newsletter. I reproduce it in part below because I gave myself a lot of good advice in there, and the more I confront myself with it, the more likely I'll be to actually take it.

I've lived overseas for fourteen years now, and not one single day goes by that I don't wish with all my heart I could still train at DCSDKA. Sadly, I have searched for years for a school to match what we have at DCSDKA. For one reason or another, each of them turned out to be not quite right for me. Instead, I have had to learn to carry DCSDKA with me wherever I go.

You, too, may find that you have to move too far from DC, or that your family or work life change so that you can no longer train regularly at DCSDKA. Over the years, I've discovered a number of ways to keep hold of the things I most value from DCSDKA, even when I'm far away.

Discipline
This means physical, mental, and emotional discipline. The physical is possibly the easiest: while I've had my ebbs and flows, I've done my best over the years to stay in shape.

Mental discipline means (for me at least) resisting the urge to see myself as someone who used to do martial arts. I must have the discipline to see myself as someone who STILL IS and ALWAYS WILL BE a martial artist. This one decision gives me the drive and mental strength to keep making those smaller daily choices about staying fit, staying determined, staying courteous. [Addendum for this blog post: substitute "writer" for "martial artist" if that works better for you. The point about the strength to make the daily choices remains.]

Which leads me to emotional discipline, the hardest of all. My emotions are constantly telling me, "You've slipped so far, you're nowhere near as strong and fit and skilled as you used to be. What's the use?" Emotional discipline means rejecting this despair and guiding my emotions instead toward a cheerful acceptance of where I am right now and an eager anticipation of what I can become — regardless of where I was yesterday or last year or a decade (or more) ago.

Respect
You know what I'm going to say here: respect for self, for family and friends, for teachers and bosses, for people in service jobs, for children, for strangers. That is one habit and ideal of DCSDKA that I can — that I must — take with me wherever I go. Respect means not taking my loneliness and frustration out on others, but speaking to them gently, with genuine regard and appreciation. It means valuing other people's success as much as my own. And it means valuing my goals and needs as much as other people's.

Positive Expectancy
Positive expectancy is not wishing — wishing means you think that something is very unlikely to actually happen. It's not even hoping — hoping implies that you're powerless to affect what's going on. For me, positive expectancy is the fundamental belief that life can continue to improve and that I can take an active role in making that happen. That is something that I can believe and live no matter how far I am from DCSDKA.

"Discipline, Respect, and Positive Expectancy" is the motto of my karate school, in case you were wondering. So, with that motto in mind, onward into 2010!